I’m having surgery tomorrow afternoon to correct my deviated septum and I’m feeling a mixture of intense fear and anxious exhilaration.
I’ve had one surgery before in my life. It was mouth surgery and the doctor waited too long so, unfortunately, the novacaine wore off. And…it…was…horrible. I was crying and bleeding and I felt/saw everything, and then my mind kind of shut down for awhile as I sat shaking in shock.
I know, I know — these are two incredibly different scenarios. I’m going the extra step past novacaine to being put under general anesthesia, but that also frightens me. The idea that I’ll sleep and wake up drastically different just seems very surreal and scary to me.
As of right now, I can’t smell out of one of my nostrils and the other one is almost completely obstructed. When the doctor showed me the x-ray, he asked if I’d ever broken my nose (nope, but thanks, doc!). Since my left nostril is almost completely blocked off, I’m constantly sniffling because my nose is trying to remove the obstruction, aka itself. I always have to breathe out of my mouth, which is problematic with my asthma and has always caused complications whenever I do any sort of physical activity. When I’m running and try to regulate my breathing in my nose and out through my mouth, I feel like I’m trying to breathe through a pillow.
Breathing issues have always been a huge source of anxiety for me and I’m glad that I can finally solve this. I didn’t even know it was something that needed a solution or that was fixable — I thought it was just how life was. I imagine I’ll be able to breathe way better, and that my senses of smell and taste with greatly improve. Who knows how many things I’ve been eating that will soon taste TOTALLY different! I’m excited to see how things change. And of course I’ll update with a post-surgery blog entry (thanks for the idea, Molly!). The positives most definitely outweigh the negatives in my mind, because my situation is pretty extreme. I’m excited to smell and taste the world in a whole new way.